Happy Birthday to my Daughter
Hey there,
I have a story I want to share. This story is about trust and forgiveness. It was 41 years ago today. I was 28 weeks pregnant with what I hoped would be a girl. I had that baby girl on July 19, 1984 at 1:30 in the afternoon by emergency c-section with a doctor I had only met the day before.
The pregnancy was a difficult one. I had "morning sickness" day and night for 4 1/2 months. I threw up so much I burst blood vessels in my throat and I lost weight before gaining an ounce. The whole pregnancy I only gained 12 pounds. When I started feeling better and getting more energy and able to eat and keep it down, my husband asked me one day to help him with this very large doghouse. I agreed but was second guessing if I should be doing that or not. And sure enough! Bad idea! I felt a tearing sensation in my abdomen and then I had bright red blood. I don't remember the exact time frame but on the 18th of July I saw my doctor and he told me I was miscarrying. He sent me to see a different provider (who I didn't want to see). At that time a new doctor was on staff. She had only been there a week and I said I wanted to see her. We met, she did an exam and an ultrasound and told me to go home and go on complete bed rest. The ultrasound person who later became my NP told me she would bet a coke I had a little girl. That made it even more terrifying. The little girl I wanted I might lose before I even had the chance.
I went home and tried to be on complete bed rest but I had to take care of my then 5 year old and well, it was nearly impossible to lay down and not move. On the morning of the 19th I was trying to rest and had just dozed off. I heard footsteps in the driveway and without thinking, I jumped up to see who it was. That decision caused me to lose my mucus plug. I needed help. My husband was at work so I called our neighbors and good friends, Pat and Bev. They rushed over and rushed me to the hospital then Pat went back to get Doc where he was working. My beautiful daughter was born via emergency c-section that day weighing in at 2#9oz and 15 inches long. She was born at 28 weeks. At 28 weeks skin is still thin, cartilage isn't fully developed and the genitalia wasn't either. I didn't get to hold her for 3 days. She was hooked up to all the things in the NICU. She had the best care though and my Mom, being a prayer warrior, was praying. I wasn't walking with God then. He was the farthest thing from my mind.
My Mom was watching 700 Club and there was someone on there that said a baby girl had been born 3 months early and that she would be ok. My Mom shared that with me and though I thought the 700 Club was the hokiest thing, I buried that word in my heart and whispered a prayer that I hoped it was true.
That one decision to move that doghouse had such a rippling effect on me and my family. My beautiful daughter, who is one of the most joyful people I know, had to endure the life of having a disability. She had to wear patches on her eye and braces on her legs and endure a grueling surgery and deal with kids making fun of her and falling all the time but getting back up. She is the picture of resiliance and hope and compassion.
Fast forward to today July 19, 2025 and that little girl is now 41. She is the Mother of 5 wonderful sons and the grandmother of a grandson. She had a surrogate pregnancy where she blessed another family with their twins.
Over the years, as I have watched her struggle and have witnessed her compassion, I have been filled with guilt knowing I was the cause of her disability. I have cried many nights and wished I could go back and change things for her. But God.........He is so good. He helped me work through these self-deprecating feelings letting me know that what the enemy intended for harm He meant for good. He has shown me that trust in him is the only way. She is a wonderful wife, Mother, Grandmother (Lolli), daughter, dog mom and more.
As I have gotten older and found my calling as an artist, I paint the word of God. This piece I'm working on right now is called "Fields of Trust". It is based on the scripture in Matthew 6:28-34 from The Message Translation:
27-29 “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
A Mother worries, no matter what, but with a Heavenly Father on your side like this, You can have peace! And you can also find forgiveness!
Please enjoy a glimpse of my new work but most importantly if you see my daughter today, wish her a Happy Birthday!!!