A Life of Trauma, Uncertainty, Rebellion and Bad Choices Led Me to This!

I was little, probably around 3, when the ambulance came.  My sister and I stood on the sidewalk with a neighbor as the stretcher carried our Mom to the ambulance.  She and my Dad had been having issues and she took her medicine but couldn't remember if she took it or not so she took it again.  I have to assume it was anxiety medication - something like xanax.  Anyway, she was admitted and recovered and came back home.  That was my earliest memory of feeling scared.

Later in life, I faced many scary times living with a very unhappy Father, whose own childhood was fraught with trauma.  He didn't know any other way to deal with life except to control and explode and belittle and become abusive, both emotionally and physically.

I was not a quiet child.  I was loud, often referred to as a brat and I let my opinions be known.  As a teenager, I was rebellious and did exactly what my parents said not to do, even landing myself in jail at age 17.  

I made some really bad decisions, from drugs to sex to employment until I finally settled down some and met my spouse.  

When you come from that kind of environment and you naively try to navigate being an adult, you end up making decisions and having reactions that are not healthy.  

Enter Jesus!!!  At age 34, I had had enough.  Back then weed was still illegal and I was smoking it daily and I knew it was wrong.  I had a family to care for and I had to stop but couldn't.  So I gave it to God and on May 6, 1990 I stopped smoking weed.  But......that decision clearly thrust a wrench into my marriage.  We fought over that for years and when you fight in a fight that seemingly can't be resolved, things are said and done that are not pretty and can't be taken back.   

Throughout my adult life, as I raised my kids and worked and went to school, I had an unwavering faith in Christ.  I learned important scriptures that helped me navigate the ups and downs I would face.  My faith has never failed.  Don't get me wrong!!!  Sometimes I am so mad at God I could spit nails, but I have to remind myself that He is God and His timing is not mine!  

Fast forward to today!  I have found my outlet!  ART!!!!  I wondered if I could paint or not and I dove in learning and finding out who I am in art.  All of my work is faith based.  Every painting has hidden scriptures and each one has 29:11 as it represents my life scripture found in Jeremiah.  My hope and prayer is that as the viewer looks at my art, they are moved on not just a physical level, but also a spiritual level. 

So the moral of this story is no matter where you come from or what you endure, Jesus, faith and commitment to following Christ will see you through!

I created a short quiz that takes just about 2 minutes to complete. It’s a simple way to check in with yourself and see where you are in your spiritual journey—or what you might need spiritually right now.

I’d love to hear your results! Just reply to this email with your outcome—I can’t wait to see what you discover. Here you go! 

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